Putting ourselves first as gotten such a bad wrap. We’re all constantly expected to put the needs and feelings of others before our own. This, incorrectly, has been taught to us as the “nice”, “correct”, and “godly” way to live.
I call “phooey.” There is nothing good about living a life that doesn’t address our own needs. If my own needs are not taken care, I’m not half as good of a friend, spouse, or daughter to anyone else.
I’m constantly driving myself crazy thinking about people in my life not accepting that it doesn’t work for me to attend their events. I say, let’s put anything that drives us crazy out of our lives, for good. Who’s with me?
There are only 2 steps to living a significantly more balanced, more fruitful, and more relaxing life:
1) Learn this mucho crucial phrase: “That doesn’t work for me.” It’s that simple. No guilt, no excuses, and most importantly, NO EXPLANATIONS needed. If an invitation to a party, a holiday celebration, a wedding, a trip, etc. does not work for you, DON’T DO IT. Instead of guilting yourself into going (or allowing someone else to guilt-trip you), just say, “That doesn’t work for me,” and then spend that highly valuable time doing what you need to do…whatever it is that is best for you.
2) Accept everyone in your life saying that phrase to you. Not only is it the most loving response you could give them, but it will also save you from a life full of stress and headaches and your own time being wasted. Let’s think about this: Your friend declines an invitation to your pool party. Instead of spending countless days analyzing why they said no and justifying to yourself why they should have said yes, save yourself time, energy, and mental and physical health and accept that it simply did not work for them. Your life (not to mention your pool party) will be significantly more stress-free and fun!
I would write more, but that doesn’t work for me.
Stay strong, Sisters! And remember, I’ll always love you.
Andrea Graye :)