Sometimes I feel discouraged. Sometimes I feel sad. When the reality of my life seems very different from the way my heart knows it should be, it makes me feel “down.”
I think it’s really important that we differentiate clinical depression from what I’m referring to as “down.” I am not a doctor, and in no way am I trying to speak about clinical depression. Instead, I’m shining light on the fact that we can have the right to feel unhappy, and when we do, we shouldn’t feel guilty, nor try to convince ourselves to just “get over it.”
If I were allowing myself to feel guilty for challenging the quality of my life, I could say the following: “You have a nice home, take nice vacations, have a nice husband, go to nice restaurants, and wear nice clothes.” Great. So I have “nice” stuff. If I reviewed that list everyday in an attempt to force myself to be happy, I’d be burying something TRUE and IMPORTANT: something is missing in my life, and I won’t be complete until I have it. If I’m not complete, I’ll lack peace and joy and happiness.
So, instead of feeling guilty, I need to allow myself to feel discouraged and sad, and then sort out why am I feeling that way. What is missing?
For me, what’s missing is what I dream about…..designing my own collection of clothing, producing movies, and writing songs. My heart was created to create. It’s all I ever think about. I have been able to style fashion, and direct shoots, and write articles, but that is NOT ENOUGH, because I was created to do more.
I wrote in an Instagram post recently, if you were created to create, and you can’t, it’s like not being allowed to breathe air. I believe this goes for whatever it is you were created to do. If you were created to be a ship captain, and you can’t do it, there’s sadness in your heart (whether or not you currently realize it).
Because I was able to identify the things that are making me sad, and I have complete conviction that I was created to do them, I can feel encouraged by knowing there is NO WAY I WON’T DO THEM. Why would you have such a strong passion on your heart for something that you would never be allowed to have? You WOULDN’T. Believe, there’s no way you won’t…
I love you.
Andrea Graye :)